Shopping Carts (OneRepublic Parody) | Jeffrey's Song of the Week

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The Grocery Store has been CHAOS recently. Instead of OneRepublic's "Counting Stars" it's Young Jeffrey's "Shopping Carts!"

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Lyrics:
Lately, I’m a Supermarket Freak
Moaning at every Bar Code Scanner Beep
Grocery Fever Burning in my heart
Reach down my Pants, Pull out my Shopping Members card
And I Grab a Shopping Cart

I wave my Hand, Like a Jedi Knight
Entry Doors, they open Wide!
Just like Santa, Christmas Night
Got My List, I Check it Twice

Roll! By the Pastry Dough
Whoa! Why's my Cart so Slow?
One wheel Stuck in Wobble Mode
Just got Red Shell Mario'd

And I Slither Up & Down Aisles, Movin So Snakily
Buttt I keep staring at Cakes out by the Bakery
Fruity Vibe, Is it Ripe? Can’t Decide
Squeeze those Juicy Peaches, Like my Wedding Night!

Lately Prices getting kinda steep
A Single Egg cost more than Wagyu Beef
Can’t Buy Butter, Gotta Switch to Lard
One Stick of Land O Lakes, I’d max my Credit Card

Deli Lady, Her name Is Bernice
Rockin that Hairnet, lookin’ Grocery Chic
Slicing Cold Cuts until the Blade is Hot
When it comes to Turkey Butt then Baby, She Sir Mix-A-Lot!
“I Like Big..." Turkey!

I Hear a Roar, Hey whats that sound?
Thunder Claps are Rollin’ Now!
Misters Spraying All Around
Keep those Veggies Watered Down!
Shelves! Standing Ten Feet Talls!
Bars on the Alcohol?
Tiny Pods of Laundry Balls
Locked Up Tight as Diddy's Walls

And Why am I so enticed by stacks of warm Jelly?
Minute Rice, Chicken Thighs, Crinkle Fries
Food Just Looks more Tasty, in Florescent Lights

Waiting, I’m just trying to grab some Brie
Somebody’s Crying Child is blocking Me
Where’s his Mother? Hope nobody Minds
if I use my foot to Gently Nudge him to the Side

Sample Lady, Honey you’re my Queen!
That Half a Pretzel Bite, was Mind Blowing!
Tiny Snacks are great, but here’s a thought…
Maybe at Happy Hour, you sample... Tiny Vodka Shots?

Oh-oh-Oh-Oh, Grab My Cart & Make it Swerve
Down into the Aisle of Frozen Hor’Deourves!
Got Hot Pockets on Reserve
Burning up your Mouth in Several Flavors!
Ben & Jerry’s and Dreyers
Razzleberry Pie, Marie Callendars!
Once the Cashier’s Head is Turned...
Eating Grapes, Like I’m a Roman Caesar!

Why’s the Floor So Sticky???
Clean up On AISLE 5!!

Check Out Line Moves at a Snail's Speed
Some Lady’s Paying with a Check & She’s
Searchin’ for a coupon in her Purse
To save her Seven Cents on Jars of Lemon Curds?
Staring at the Tabloid Magazines
Cosmo’s got "90 Ways to Make Him Scream"
Finally reach the Front part of the Line...
I scan my Apple Pay & Noticed, I forgot the Wine!

Bag Boy Ready, Watch him Work
Stacking Cans of Soda into a Tower
Dude Runs Out, a Shoplifter
Tried to Smuggle Bacon inside His Trousers
I Look on with Great Concern…
People Shopping Carts Not getting Returned
Don’t Just Lean 'em Against that Curb
Put your Cart Away, Ya Lazy Dumb Turd!